Tuesdays give me the creeps. Wednesday made me one.
On Wednesday, I went to tuition. When I was coming back from the tuition class, I got so freaking squashed by all the people on the bus I thought my pimples are going to pop there and then and spray around the bus in a gory mess. Thank god it didn’t, though I wouldn’t have really minded ridding my face of all this bullshit. Well, reaching home, I prayed to whatever gods there are up there that on Thursday, the situation would be better
On Wednesday, I reached school without any mishap. The same could not be said about the return trip though. Well, I was happily waiting for my bus. It came at FREAKING 2PM!!!??? I should have known that boded evil. Instead, I ignored my primal instincts and entered the bus like a fox down a rabbithole. And yeah, I thought, o.o there’s one seat. ONE SINGLE, COMFORTABLE, INVITING seat just waiting for me to put my big fat butt on it and doze through to hell. Okay, so I made my rather-hurried-but-not-appearing-hurried-because-I-was-wearing-school-uniform way to that seat. And guess what? This big, fat, ugly NY girl pushed RIGHT past me and planted her big, fat, ugly butt on that seat. MY SEAT. Well, being the gracious HC gentleman I am (!!!!!!), I gallantly let her enjoy her short lived peace on that seat. BUT when I turned around, oh horror of horrors! The bus had already filled up with so many NY girls you’d think Little Bo-Peep had found all her sheep and stuffed them into this bus. Well, I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad, so I settled with the expression “being on cloud nine”. In both ways, if you catch my drift. I wouldn’t entirely mind squeezing near SOME of them, or squeezing them, for that matter. Well I actually felt like the poverbial tuna in the tin. Oh, and I had to stand ALL THE WAY HOME. What a waste of leg muscles, if you ask me.
When I alighted at my stop, OH GAWD, I WAS SOOOO EMBARRESSED! I was about to exit from the bus, when BIG, FAT AND UGLY stuck me at the door. She was about to alight, but she was going round in her bag….well wrong expression, she couldn’t have fit into a lorry. Okay, she was rifling through her bag for her wallet, and I was like, stuck behind her. Then the bus driver thought that nobody else was going to alight, so he shut the door IN MY FACE. Well what could I do, I spammed the little red button like my life depended on it. And she was like, screaming beside me,(in chinese) “UNCLLLLEE!!!! WE HAVEN’T GET OFFFFF THE BUS YETTTTTTT!!!!!!” Holy shyt, everybody was staring at me, giving me the “hey, is that your sister? Take her and freaking gettout of the darn bus!” Oh, I was so damn embarressed man.
Holy gawd, troubling experience in a half-hour span. I gotta go and pray sia. Or I’ll reach my point of insanity before I reach army.
Errr QIAO YOU FREAKING WEREN’T AT HIGH SCHOOL CANTEEN TODAY! Oh and there’s something known as idiocy. I brought Mark and Qixiang to watch the GIRLS gymnastics, then we ended up being late for assembly. Damn!
Oh, met Jonas at the bus stop. We were exchanging sex jokes haha.
Me: Hey Jonas, what’s the similarity between a hot girl and a bus?
Jonas: Well, umm…
Me: You wait damn long to go for a 20 minute ride
Jonas: Oh Gawd.
Jonas: Okay, a guy scolded his blonde wife for being lousy in bed, then he went to work. At work, he felt guilty for scolding his wife, so he called her. She picked up the phone, he said, “Hi honey, whatcha doing now?” The wife replied, “still in bed” He was baffled, so he asked, “what are you doing in bed at this hour?” Guess what she said?
Me: That’s a long one… okay, err she said she felt sad?
Jonas: “getting a second opinion, darling”
Me: OH GAWD -.-
Me: Here’s a good one, short and sweet. What’s the difference between a wife and a dog?
Jonas: They’re both f***ed up?
Me: Nice thinking, no.
Jonas: Then?
Me: Oh, it’s quite simple. After one year, the dog will still be excited to see you!
Jonas: Damn!
Some people just don’t know where to draw the line, do they?
[ ` l a m e n t a t i o n s * ]
at 6:16 AM
